Pregnancy is a profound journey filled with anticipation, joy, and, often, a fair share of anxiety. As an antenatal teacher and doula Perinatal counsellor, I have had the privilege of working with many expectant mothers/people who navigate this transformative period with a mix of pregnancy fears and desires. Understanding these emotional landscapes and how prenatal counselling can support you is crucial for ensuring a healthy, confident pregnancy. After all, we should not suffer in silence.
Common Fears During Pregnancy
Fear of Miscarriage: One of the most prevalent fears is the worry about the potential for miscarriage, especially during the first trimester. This anxiety can be overwhelming and all-consuming, significantly heightened if the experience has happened before. This can impact your Mental Health during pregnancy.
Fear of Childbirth: I have worked with many pregnant women/people, and I would say the majority have a fear of the pain and unpredictability of labour and delivery. Research suggests that fear of childbirth affects a significant portion of pregnant women/people, with estimates ranging from 20% to 30% globally. High levels of anxiety can sadly lead to more negative birth experiences.
I have found that some pregnant mothers/people will talk about fears openly, and some will block them out. Usually, the fears are related to complications, the need for interventions, and the overall experience that can cause significant perinatal stress. One of the main fears is not being heard or treated with respect by their hospital team. Some of these fears are from previous experiences or fears we have picked up from society and our families and communities. This fear is particularly pronounced among women of colour, who face higher maternal mortality rates.Â
Health Concerns: Anxiety about the baby's health and development and your physical well-being can dominate thoughts throughout pregnancy.
Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG): Some women experience a severe sickness known as Hyperemesis Gravidarum, which goes beyond typical nausea and vomiting. This condition can lead to dehydration, weight loss, and severe fatigue, adding to the stress and anxiety, depression and, in some extreme cases, can lead to wanting to terminate the pregnancy as a result of the impact on the mother's mental health.
Fear of Parenting: Becoming a parent can lead to fears about not being good enough, not knowing how to care for a newborn, or the long-term responsibilities of raising a child. This can stir up a lot about our childhood, which can impact our perinatal mental health.
Career Fears: Pregnancy can bring concerns about job security, career progression, and balancing work and motherhood. Many women fear taking time off for maternity leave will affect their professional lives.
Relationship Changes: Relationship dynamics can shift during pregnancy, leading to fears about maintaining a solid partnership with a spouse or managing changing roles and expectations within the family.
Body Image and Physical Changes: Pregnancy brings numerous physical changes that can affect a woman's body image and self-esteem. Concerns about weight gain, stretch marks, and returning to pre-pregnancy body shape are common.
Desires During Pregnancy
Pregnant mothers/people I have had the pleasure of working with, despite the fears, know what they desire and rightfully so.
A Healthy Baby: This is a given—expectant mothers and people want their babies to be born healthy and strong.
Smooth Pregnancy and Delivery: A hope for a pregnancy free of complications and a smooth and supported delivery process. Most pregnant mothers and people know that there will be physical discomfort, but as I always encouraged, there is a difference between suffering and pain. No one should be made to suffer, and this is the difference. Most Mothers/People, in my experince, are realistic about this.
Emotional Support and Understanding: Many pregnant mothers/people seek emotional support from their partners, families, and healthcare providers. They desire to be understood and supported throughout their journey, which is a fundamental right. They want to have autonomy and to make their own decisions, with all the necessary information, to make the right choices for their pregnancy and birth. Mothers/people from Black or Brown heritage and those with diverse sexual identities seek to feel acknowledged and supported in their unique experiences. They desire environments where their cultural backgrounds and sexual identities are respected, fostering a sense of safety and inclusivity. Access to emotional support and understanding is paramount as they navigate the challenges and joys of pregnancy and parenthood. Recognising and honouring these differences is crucial for creating spaces where all individuals feel valued, seen, and cared for on their journey to becoming parents.
Confidence and Preparedness: Expectant mothers and people desire to feel confident and well-prepared for childbirth and parenting. This includes having access to information, resources, and support systems.
Positive Body Image: Women and people hope to embrace the physical changes of pregnancy and maintain a healthy body image.
Strong Relationships: A desire to maintain strong, supportive relationships with their partners, family, and friends, navigating the changes that pregnancy brings without losing connection or support.
How Counseling Can Help
Counselling provides a safe and supportive space to explore your fears and desires. Drawing from my experience as an antenatal teacher and doula Perinatal counsellor, I have learned that addressing these concerns holistically can lead to a more positive pregnancy experience that will help your mental health and well-being with better outcomes. Here are several ways counselling can help:
1. Addressing Fears:
Counselling can help women articulate and confront their fears about pregnancy, childbirth, and parenting. Therapists use techniques like cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) to reframe negative thoughts and reduce anxiety.
2. Providing Emotional Support:
By offering you a non-judgmental space where you, as a pregnant mother/person, can express your worries and receive empathetic support. Emotional validation is crucial for mental well-being.
3. Education and Preparation:
Counselling can provide valuable information about pregnancy, childbirth, and parenting, helping you feel more prepared and confident. This includes discussing birthing plans, pain management techniques, and newborn care.
4. Enhancing Self-Esteem:
I work to foster positive body image and self-esteem. Techniques such as mindfulness and self-compassion exercises can help you appreciate your body's capabilities and changes.
5. Building Coping Strategies:
Teaching coping strategies to manage stress and anxiety. These include relaxation techniques, breathing exercises, and developing a solid support network.
6. Supporting Career and Relationship Concerns:
Counselling can help to navigate career fears and relationship changes. This includes discussing strategies for maintaining career progression, managing maternity leave, and fostering strong relationships with partners and family.
At Steps Therapy, we will look at the following:
1. Initial Assessment: Understanding the specific fears and desires of the expectant mother.
2. Creating a Supportive Environment: Building a trusting relationship and a safe space for expression.
3. Developing a Plan: Crafting a personalised therapy plan that includes education, emotional support, and coping strategies.
4. Regular Sessions: Providing consistent support and adjusting the therapy plan as needed.
5. Empowerment and Preparation: Ensuring you feel confident and prepared for childbirth and parenting.
Suppose you want to explore your fears and desires and how this work can set the stage for a more positive pregnancy experience. Please book your discovery session today! www.stepstherapy.co.uk
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